Chapter 95

Chapter 95—The Presidents talk

9:32 p.m., Thursday, January 12

Former President Bob Fulbright had just stopped at a red light, when he looked down at his cell phone and dialed a number.
After a few rings, the party he called answered.
“Mr. President.”
“Mr. President.”
“Where are you right now?”
“I’m just entering Fort Marcy. I’m supposed to be in bed sleeping. Instead I’m goin’ out whoring with you. ... By the way, I don’t see you.”
“So that’s what you call it,” Bob said. ... Ain’t it hell, what we have to do for a little privacy?”
“It is. How do you suppose FDR handled it? I guess all he had to worry about was a gimpy set of wheels.”
“And Eleanor. Rumor has it she had more secrets than he did,” Bob said. “... Pull in and park right here. I’m right behind you.”
President Butler did as Bob asked, and turned off the engine.
Just then Bob knocked on the passenger side window of President Butler’s car. He opened the door as it unlocked, and said, “Times have changed.”
“I’m not so certain about that.” President Butler said. He paused for a moment, and then continued. “This must be pretty important, Bob, to want to meet me like this. What’s on your mind?”
As President Butler put his car in reverse, Bob answered his question: “Just wanted to iron out a couple details, you know. Just wanted to be sure we were on the same page.”
“Well, you did your part. And, obviously you did it well, or I would not be here right now.”
“Yeah, but consider just how revered you would have been had we let this thing play out. You’d need a library twice as big as mine just to house what would have been written this year alone.”
“Oh, there will be plenty written anyway.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” Bob said. He then took a look at President Butler, and started to chuckle. “You look like you just walked out of the gym, Barry. You’re not gonna pick up girls in warm ups.”
“What were you expecting—a pimp hat and bling?”
“Well, maybe.”
The two presidents continued on for a few moments without speaking, finally Butler said, “I spoke to Alexander, and he’s ready to move on it—on your appointment.”
“Really? Were you surprised?”
“Not at all. We knew going in what the deal was. When you first came to me with your plan to weaken Allison. It was all part of our agreement.”
“So how do you see it transitioning? And how soon?”
“It’s common knowledge that the UN is broke, and deeply in debt. It will be relocated in Europe. Alexander is leaning toward Eastern Europe—perhaps Hungary.”
“Hungary? Damn it, Barry—Why Hungary? Why not Paris.”
“Alexander favors an Eastern European site. He’s more comfortable with that. Besides, he doesn’t want to deal with the French.”
“But Hungary? My God, Barry, that might as well be a third world country.”
“Just because the headquarters is located in Eastern Europe, that doesn’t mean that’s where you have to live. You can live anywhere you want. You could move back in with Allison, if you wanted to. Or, Depp has a nice place in Southern France. You like him, right?”
“That’s a low blow, Barry. … The Allison comment—not the Depp part.” Bob paused for a moment, and then continued, “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.” President Butler did not respond to Bob’s comment, except for a small smile.
“Well, one thing for sure, we’re gonna find out if all those ignorant conservatives were truly serious about getting the UN out of New York. Now that they’re not gonna have a choice about it, I’ll bet they’ll be pissin’ and moanin’ more than ever. Those bastards didn’t know when they had it good. I swear, they don’t know what the hell they want. ”
“I know what you mean. And they’re not even gonna know what the hell hit ‘em, either. Damn, they’re gonna be mad. This is like a double shot of poison for them—me as President, and you as god. ... And there’s not a damn thing they can do about it.”
Both men chuckled audibly, as they contemplated that scenario.
Finally Bob queried, “Did Alexander have a problem with creating the new position? ‘UN President’?”
“No, but he was not excited about weakening the role of the General Secretary.”
“Weakening the role of the General Secretary? You’ve got to be kidding me. Barry, the only weaker person in the world is the French Secretary of Defense. He was just messin’ with your head. ... But, seriously, Barry, he was okay with the new position, and the fact that it would be permanent?”
“He had no problem with that. You and I both know that if he ever wanted you out, you’d be out. But as long as he likes you, and you play ball, you’re good.”
“What’s gonna happen to the current UN Headquarters? That property can never be privately developed.”
“Right. It will always be under the direction of the United Nations, at least until the charter gets changed. I think he intends to use if for archiving. Eventually I see him moving his Institute there. It would just make sense. … Allison ever figure out what happened? Do you think she has any idea that you were the one who foiled her plans?”
“She never trusts me—at least not entirely. Never did. When my appointment comes through, and the UN moves out of New York, with me in it, she might start to see what hit her. But, more than likely, she will think I’m just being opportunistic—taking advantage of the situation for personal reasons. Hell, ain’t that exactly what I’m doing?”
“I’d say it was a win-win all the way around. You get what you want, I stay … alive. Alexander gets what he wants, even. And, who’s to say, if Allison plays her cards right, she might still get to be President.”
“Hell, that’ll never happen, Barry. My Man, you’re a definite two-termer.”
“You think?”
“Absolutely. And after that, who knows? But it won’t be Allison. She knows that. A man can be elected if he looks old. Just means he’s ‘distinguished looking.’ But a woman. When a woman gets old, that’s what she is—old. That’s why she was so desperate.”
The President liked what he heard. More than anything, he liked hearing those words come out of the mouth of someone he admired more than any other person in the world. A small smile crept across his face as he contemplated what his friend Bob had just told him.
“You’ve got to dump that old bastard, you know. He can’t stay on the ticket. But what ever you do, don’t put Allison on it. Not unless you have a death wish.”
“We’ve been through that one. I’m not going there.”
“Pick a more conservative running mate. You know, one with some gravitas. Just not that old fart.”
Again both men chuckled.
“Ever consider suspending the election?” President Fulbright asked. “You could do that, you know—Homeland Security, executive orders. Hell, I’m sure you’ve thought about it. Right?”
President Butler did not respond to the question.
“And think about running a red-neck conservative on a third-party ticket—split their vote. Remember good old Jacque. He was Alexander’s man, you know. And with regard to your VP selection. I’d say a Christian from the South.” Bob paused for a moment, then continued. “Hell, Barry, find out what Elvis has been up to lately.”
“I thought Elvis was going to be heading up the new UN.”
“That’s me, all right. … Damn, Barry, I never imagined you had a sense of humor.”
As the two presidents headed back to their original meeting place, for a few moments no words were shared. But there was no lack of mental activity. The current president was already mentally composing his second inaugural address, while the past president contemplated how he might expedite his UN placement. “this sonofabi**h is politically dead in the water,” he thought. “And so is Allison. How good could it get. Hell, if I wanted to be President again, I’ll bet I could pull it off. But, I’d rather be god for life.”
Just then Bob remembered that he had brought a present for his friend. “Hey, Barry, I almost forgot,” he said pulling a heavy velvet bag out of his briefcase. “I brought you a present, something to help you remember this meeting.” Bob then carefully removed a brilliant gold object from the bag, and pretended he was polishing it with the velvet bag. “Just a little token of our enduring friendship,” he said, as he presented the current president with a beautiful gold Egyptian burial mask.
“What have we here?” President Butler asked, reaching out to receive the gift. “This is beautiful. It must be worth a fortune for the gold alone. What is it?”
“Oh, it’s just something that has been in our family for a while. Actually, it was a gift to Allison and me when we were in the White House.”
“And you’re giving it to me?”
“I sure am, Barry. You should try it on your wife. Maybe looking at this will help you get it up.” Both men chuckled, Then Bob continued, “I’ll have to admit that it didn’t help me much. It would have taken a lot more than a gold mask on Al. Although I am rather fond of gold.”
“That’s what that little blue pill is for,” President Butler said.
“I don’t think that would have helped either,” again both men chuckled.  With that, the two arrived back at their original destination, and went their own ways.